The Language of Lying

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S


For anyone reading this who is a sex addict or who is in relationship with someone who is addicted, you know that lying is a big part of the addiction: It helps to hide behaviors, get partners off the trail, and I usually find that the first person that addicts learn to deceive is themselves.  Most addicts learn to lie as a coping strategy from a very young age, before it was ever used to mask their addictive behaviors.  Lying helped them to survive in a world or in a family that wasn’t safe for them to fully be themselves.

I was forwarded this TED Talk on lying through POSARC ( and thought I’d share it here.  For partners who are trying to rebuild trust in their relationships and in their own intuition, here are some ways you can look at language to better rebuild trust in the truth.

Let me know what you think!

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