So He Needs You to be His Mom and then Later Resents You for it…

February 7, 2019 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

An impossible role for partners of sex addicts   If you’re a partner of a sex addict, do you feel that you take on more responsibilities in your relationship than you want to, which causes you to feel more like a mom than a partner?   If you are a recovering addict, do you find …read more


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Respecting and Responding to Your Partner’s Boundaries after Discovery (for Addicts)

January 24, 2019 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

Here are 6 ways you can better respond to your partner’s boundaries:   1) Make sure you understand your partner’s boundaries! This may seem obvious, but it’s vital to understand what your partner’s boundaries are.  You may feel backed into a corner, with no option but just to agree to all of your partner’s boundaries.  …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

Boundaries after Sex Addiction Discovery

January 22, 2019 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

Most of us, particularly if we’ve been in any kind of counseling, are used to hearing the word “boundaries”.  Boundaries may seem obvious, but they can so easily be misunderstood.  Let’s take a few minutes to look at what boundaries really are.   What are Boundaries: 1) Boundaries are for SAFETY, NOT PUNISHMENT It’s critical to …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

Setting Boundaries to Help You Heal

January 21, 2019 | Katie Sanford, LPCC, CCPS-C

A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts   If you are a partner of a sex addict you have most likely experienced emotional pain, hurt, and betrayal that is difficult to navigate. Many partners struggle because they love someone who is making destructive choices that greatly affect both the addict and partner. To make it …read more


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Using Your Values to Shape your Boundaries

January 4, 2019 | Katie Sanford, LPCC, CCPS-C

A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts   Setting healthy boundaries is an important part of every relationship, and arguably, even more important for partners of sex addicts.  Sex addicts are known to violate their partners’ boundaries, intentionally or not, by going against what their partner values. After boundaries are repeatedly violated, partners often struggle …read more


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A New Year, A New Resolution

December 30, 2018 | Banyan Therapy Group

Rethinking making resolutions when you are in sex addiction recovery   New Year’s resolutions can feel so very cliche. We all make them, but then forget them by February 1st. What’s the point? Why do we continue to carry on this silly tradition? Well, goals CAN be powerful if set in a manner that supports …read more


Sex Addiction Resources

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome

October 30, 2018 | Katie Sanford, LPCC, CCPS-C

If someone is in or has been in a relationship with someone who is a narcissist, they may be experiencing something called Narcissistic Victim Syndrome as a result of domestic violence in their relationship.  Narcissists often look charming on the outside but commonly cause great pain and trauma for their partner. Narcissists may be emotionally …read more


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The Domestic Violence Cycle

October 26, 2018 | Eric Anderson, LMFT, CSAT

As with many repeating patterns, domestic violence has a cyclical nature that follows 3 stages. Knowing these stages is helpful to identify these abusive patterns in a relationship. There are 3 stages that we will look at: tension building, explosion, and the honeymoon.   The Tension Building Stage In this phase of the domestic violence …read more


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An Interview with Domestic Violence Expert Brianne Baker, LMFT

October 24, 2018 | Julia Alperovich, LMFT, CCPS-C, CSAT

In light of October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I interviewed a therapist who specializes in working with victims of domestic violence as well as court mandated perpetrators of domestic violence. Her name is Brianne Baker and she is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Santa Clara County, California. She has been …read more


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Domestic Violence

October 18, 2018 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

Myths vs. Reality When I think of domestic violence (DV), I often think of physical violence between one member of a couple to the other.  In fact, domestic violence (often referred to as Intimate Partner Violence) could involve physical violence, sexual violence, stalking or psychological aggression.  Similarly, DomesticViolence.org onsiders DV to include any behaviors that one …read more


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