Partner Betrayal Trauma – Where’s the Support?

March 23, 2021 | Monifa Ellis-Addie, MA, AMFT, CCPS-C

You just found out you’re the partner of a sex addict.  You’re in shock, you’re hurt, you no longer trust your addicted partner. You may not even trust yourself.  You need someone to talk to.  Your family and friends may not understand. You fear they will pass judgement on you if you decide to stay …read more


Partner Resources | Trauma Resources

Step 10 & 11: Building a Daily Recovery Program

January 5, 2021 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

If you’re in a recovery program, you’ve probably heard people talk a lot about “working the steps.” You may have even started working the steps. And if you’re like too many, you may have stalled in working the steps, perhaps in step 4 or 9. Whether you’ve stalled in your step-work or if you want …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

The Cycle of Abuse in Narcissist Victim Syndrome

December 9, 2020 | Monifa Ellis-Addie, MA, AMFT, CCPS-C

In a previous blog Narcissist Victim Syndrome (October 2018), Katie Sanford discussed narcissistic tactics and the symptoms of this syndrome. Here, I would like to outline the cycle/phases of narcissistic abuse that lead to the syndrome. It is a very secret and deliberate game that you don’t even know you are playing. By the time …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources | Trauma Resources

Could I have PTSD?

September 30, 2020 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

PTSD Caused by Relational Trauma An “Invisible” Disorder that Can go Undiagnosed When I used to hear the term “Posttraumatic Stress Disorder,” I generally only thought of combat veterans and the trauma they experienced that could lead to PTSD. Combat can certainly induce PTSD. However, other types of trauma can also lead to PTSD. In …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources | Trauma Resources

COVID-19 Resource Guide

July 18, 2020 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

Download COVID-19 Resource Guide   Our world has been thrown into turmoil as the COVID-19 pandemic continues to spread. What some of us may have thought would be a brief period of quarantine and social isolation has turned into a chronic anxiety-ridden time, where many have struggled with both their medical and mental health.   …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources | Trauma Resources

Revisiting Boundaries During COVID-19

May 1, 2020 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

COVID-19 has forced us all to adjust to life in new ways. That means that many are “sheltering in place” rather than going to the office or engaging in typical routines. It also means that so many people are relying heavily on technology to stay employed, connected, and informed. Yet what do you do when …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

The Two Main Tasks for Recovery: Sobriety and Relational Healing

August 2, 2019 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

However you got here, you’ve started a journey of recovery from sexual addiction.  These early days of recovery may be confusing, overwhelming, scary, painful, or discouraging. That’s why I wanted to spend a few moments sharing how you can build a solid recovery foundation that will help you and your relationship heal.   Successful long-term …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

So He Needs You to be His Mom and then Later Resents You for it…

February 7, 2019 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

An impossible role for partners of sex addicts   If you’re a partner of a sex addict, do you feel that you take on more responsibilities in your relationship than you want to, which causes you to feel more like a mom than a partner?   If you are a recovering addict, do you find …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

Respecting and Responding to Your Partner’s Boundaries after Discovery (for Addicts)

January 24, 2019 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

Here are 6 ways you can better respond to your partner’s boundaries:   1) Make sure you understand your partner’s boundaries! This may seem obvious, but it’s vital to understand what your partner’s boundaries are.  You may feel backed into a corner, with no option but just to agree to all of your partner’s boundaries.  …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

Boundaries after Sex Addiction Discovery

January 22, 2019 | Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S

Most of us, particularly if we’ve been in any kind of counseling, are used to hearing the word “boundaries”.  Boundaries may seem obvious, but they can so easily be misunderstood.  Let’s take a few minutes to look at what boundaries really are.   What are Boundaries: 1) Boundaries are for SAFETY, NOT PUNISHMENT It’s critical to …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources