Addiction is a word that has been thrown around a lot over the past decade. You hear it all the time. “I’m addicted to chocolate” or buying new clothes, or working too much, or video games, etc…. However, there’s still a stigma around the word addiction and what it really means.    The word is …read more

One of the most important concepts in early recovery is surrender. In active addiction, we try to control everything in our world. This includes trying to maintain the appearances, maintaining a secret life, or avoiding any unwanted or uncomfortable experiences. We approach life in survival mode. We try to hold it all together. In recovery, …read more

Trying to decide if, when, and how you should tell your kids about your/your partner’s sex addiction are complicated decisions.  There are many factors that impact the decisions including: what they already know, their age and, what your partner thinks about telling them.  This is something that many parents wrestle with out of a desire …read more

Many times, I’ve heard sexual addiction be referred to as “people who are just cheating.” There is a vast difference between “cheating” and sexual addiction, but this can be difficult to see from the outside.  Here are 7 key factors that could help you identify the difference in yourself or others:   1) Shame Cheaters …read more

Sex addiction can have devastating effects on families, but the lasting impact on the children can be lessened if you keep the kids out of the middle.  Important communication between you and your partner should not include the kids.  This blog will outline ways to keep kids out of the middle of your partnership affected by …read more

Narcissism is a common buzzword that seems to have been coming up a lot in the media and in therapy circles recently. When people think of narcissism it’s often associated with ego, entitlement, or an excessive love of self. While these things can be parts of narcissism, it can be more simply defined as obsession …read more

You just found out you’re the partner of a sex addict.  You’re in shock, you’re hurt, you no longer trust your addicted partner. You may not even trust yourself.  You need someone to talk to.  Your family and friends may not understand. You fear they will pass judgement on you if you decide to stay …read more

If you’re in a recovery program, you’ve probably heard people talk a lot about “working the steps.” You may have even started working the steps. And if you’re like too many, you may have stalled in working the steps, perhaps in step 4 or 9. Whether you’ve stalled in your step-work or if you want …read more

In a previous blog Narcissist Victim Syndrome (October 2018), Katie Sanford discussed narcissistic tactics and the symptoms of this syndrome. Here, I would like to outline the cycle/phases of narcissistic abuse that lead to the syndrome. It is a very secret and deliberate game that you don’t even know you are playing. By the time …read more

PTSD Caused by Relational Trauma An “Invisible” Disorder that Can go Undiagnosed When I used to hear the term “Posttraumatic Stress Disorder,” I generally only thought of combat veterans and the trauma they experienced that could lead to PTSD. Combat can certainly induce PTSD. However, other types of trauma can also lead to PTSD. In …read more