How an addict’s behavior(s) affects his partner

June 23, 2013 | Banyan Therapy Group

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Here’s a powerful, yet disturbing video about the impact of addictive behaviors on partners: https://youtu.be/JAkT9xfbZPI Though not easy to watch, this video dramatically shows how our addictive / compulsive behaviors are never done in isolation – there is always an impact on our loved ones.  Often times, …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

Is it Multidimensional Trauma or is it Co-Addiction?

April 12, 2013 | Banyan Therapy Group

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   A fellow APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, Inc.) board member, Richard Blankenship, wrote a great blog on the trauma model of treating partners of sex addicts.  Partners of sex addicts often experience debilitating trauma symptoms as a result of all the complexities of …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

So how do I start this recovery thing?

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   How time flies…  I’ve been wanting to write this blog for months but haven’t had a chance until now.  Because I get a lot of emails asking about the basics of sex addiction recovery I wanted to write about how to create a solid foundation: from sex addiction …read more


Sex Addiction Resources

To disclose or not to disclose: Do I tell my partner all my dirty secrets?

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   If you’ve been around sex addiction meetings long enough you’ve no doubt heard people talking about “disclosure.”  While there are many different ways to go through the disclosure process, I thought I’d spend a few minutes discussing what disclosure is all about and why you might consider …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

12 step groups for those impacted by sex addiction

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   So what’s the deal with all of the different 12-step groups for sex addiction? There are several different groups based on the original model of Alcoholics Anonymous for those who are dealing with sex addiction or for those who are impacted by their partner’s sexual behavior.  Depending …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

How much masturbation is too much?

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Yes, I said it.  Masturbation.  It’s one of those things most of us rarely talk about publically but most of us have done or continue to do privately.  Exploring our sexuality is a normal part of our development, and masturbation is a typical part of this journey. …read more


Sex Addiction Resources

Computer filters / Accountability Software

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   I’m often asked about good computer filters, so I thought I’d write a bit here to help you get started with some basic information.  For parents, these programs can be very helpful to limit your child’s access to certain sites on the internet.  For sex addicts or …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources

A Guided Imagery for the Journey

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Here is a guided meditation adapted from The Betrayal Bond (Carnes, 1997, pp. 213-215): Close your eyes and make yourself comfortable.  Make sure nothing physical distracts you.  If you are upset about anything, picture a box around it and set it aside.  Tune in now to your …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources | Trauma Resources

PATHOS Screening for Sex Addiction

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Here’s another article I wrote for therapists in a local journal:   Many of us who work with alcoholics or addicts are familiar with the CAGE screening for alcoholism: C: Have you ever felt you should CUT DOWN on your drinking? A: Have people ANNOYED you by …read more


Sex Addiction Resources

Female Partners of Sex Addicts: It’s Not Her Fault!

Here is an article I recently wrote for therapists in a local journal: Sex is everywhere in our culture. From billboards, to iPhones, to gossip with friends, we as a society are becoming sexualized at increasingly younger ages. Most of us are able to navigate these sexualized waters with few problems. However, there is a …read more


Partner Resources | Sex Addiction Resources