by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   So what do you think of this election?  Trump?  Hillary?  Bernie?  What about Cruz?  This is a controversial election this year, and people are expressing so many different opinions.  I’m curious how this is playing out in families across the country (and world).  Let me know what …read more

Partners have been sharing this theme with me for some time, so in the aftermath of the Ashley Madison hack I knew I needed to write about the experience of a betrayed partner who chooses to stay in a relationship after the discovery/disclosure of infidelity.   I was asked to write a guest article for …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation.  The term comes from the movie with the same name, and it is a strategy where one individual manipulates of the reality of another.  These patterns can range from subtle to extreme, but the impact often leaves the one who …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   The organization Treasures does a lot of great work to help women who would like to get out of the sex industry.  They created a video to address the issues of sex and the sex industry, and I was fortunate to have been interviewed in the video. …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   For anyone reading this who is a sex addict or who is in relationship with someone who is addicted, you know that lying is a big part of the addiction: It helps to hide behaviors, get partners off the trail, and I usually find that the first …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned” (William Congreve) Truth be told, most men are terrified of women’s anger.  Of course, many will pretend that they are “tough” and not affected.  Yet if they’re honest with you, …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   There is a common notion that partners of sex addicts are as sick as the individual with the addiction.  Often exhibiting symptoms of anxiety, depression, anger, shock, betrayal, ambivalence, confusion, devastation, and myriad other symptoms, addicts and the treatment community alike have mischaracterized these trauma symptoms as …read more

The subject of sexual addiction provokes a range of responses, from curiosity to dismissal to contempt. But a common question emerges: what is it—is it even real? What’s the difference between really liking sex and being a sex addict? Where’s the line between healthy sexual behavior and addiction? These are valuable and important questions; ones …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   This TED talk from Tony Porter is a few years old, but I think the message remains valuable for us all.  It’s time we take a good hard look at what it means to be men and how we relate to women.  Let me know what you …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Anna Fels wrote a piece on betrayal in the NY Times a few weeks ago.  I’ve been too busy to write about it, but since I had a few minutes today I wanted to share it here.  Here’s a link to her article: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/opinion/sunday/great-betrayals.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0. What I found …read more