As with many repeating patterns, domestic violence has a cyclical nature that follows 3 stages. Knowing these stages is helpful to identify these abusive patterns in a relationship. There are 3 stages that we will look at: tension building, explosion, and the honeymoon.   The Tension Building Stage In this phase of the domestic violence …read more

In light of October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I interviewed a therapist who specializes in working with victims of domestic violence as well as court mandated perpetrators of domestic violence. Her name is Brianne Baker and she is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Santa Clara County, California. She has been …read more

Myths vs. Reality When I think of domestic violence (DV), I often think of physical violence between one member of a couple to the other.  In fact, domestic violence (often referred to as Intimate Partner Violence) could involve physical violence, sexual violence, stalking or psychological aggression.  Similarly, DomesticViolence.org onsiders DV to include any behaviors that one …read more

Deny Attack Reverse Victim Offender   Most of us don’t enter relationships thinking about gaslighting or about emotional abuse strategies. Instead, we often enter relationships with hope for what a new relationship can bring. Partners of sex addicts are no exception: They frequently find a partner who is charming, loving, and maybe even doting… at …read more

Many people come to therapy for addictive behavior, but have a difficult time understanding exactly what they are addicted to. Although sex and love addiction have some similar features and can often happen simultaneously, they are different. They can be confused very easily just as love and sex are often confused or used interchangeably. Luckily, …read more

A partner’s choice to stay in a relationship with a sex addict is difficult and usually very scary. Choosing to stay in the relationship is a risk for partners. If you are an addict, doing everything you can towards recovery and struggling to understand why your partner is still afraid, it may help you build …read more

Blaming Parents vs. Acknowledging the Past – What’s the Difference?   This is a question I hear a lot from people beginning counseling.  As soon as we starting looking at life experiences from childhood and growing up, often times clients may feel like they shouldn’t talk about negative events they have experienced.Often times, they feel …read more

Mindfulness is a term that has gained popularity in recent years. We hear it frequently in the media around wellness, in advertisements for new-age businesses, in self-help literature, and in places like yoga studios and spas. It is now deemed to be a staple of healthy living, much like superfoods, cleanses, shakra alignments, and oxygen …read more

Escrito en inglés por Julia Alperovich, LMFT, CSAT-C.  Adaptado al español por Juan Carlos Quinteros, LMFT, CSAT.   Así que… tú estás en recuperación. Has acordado hacer “lo que sea necesario” para salvar tu relación. Tú has comenzado a ver a un terapeuta regularmente, has revelado o admitido los comportamientos que tu pareja tenía miedo de …read more

Clients will often come into the office carrying concerns about abstinence. Sex, porn, and love addictions are process addictions. Unlike chemical addictions, we cannot live our lives completely devoid of intimacy and sexuality. I have often encountered people who admit that they have a problem but are reluctant to enter treatment, because they believe that …read more