About Dan Drake

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned” (William Congreve) Truth be told, most men are terrified of women’s anger.  Of course, many will pretend that they are “tough” and not affected.  Yet if they’re honest with you, …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   There is a common notion that partners of sex addicts are as sick as the individual with the addiction.  Often exhibiting symptoms of anxiety, depression, anger, shock, betrayal, ambivalence, confusion, devastation, and myriad other symptoms, addicts and the treatment community alike have mischaracterized these trauma symptoms as …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   This TED talk from Tony Porter is a few years old, but I think the message remains valuable for us all.  It’s time we take a good hard look at what it means to be men and how we relate to women.  Let me know what you …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Anna Fels wrote a piece on betrayal in the NY Times a few weeks ago.  I’ve been too busy to write about it, but since I had a few minutes today I wanted to share it here.  Here’s a link to her article: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/opinion/sunday/great-betrayals.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0. What I found …read more

Is there really any other kind of pornography these days?  Of course print and video-based pornography still exists, but we really have to look no further than our smart phones to access it any time and anywhere.   Many questions remain: What impact does online porn have on our brains?  On our relationships?  On our …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   I recently spoke with Lili Bee from PoSARC after the completion of the first Certified Clinical Partner Specialist traing by APSATS.  For those of you who don’t know PoSARC, it is a great resource center for partners of sex addicts.  Take a look at the interview and …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   How time flies…  I’ve been wanting to write this blog for months but haven’t had a chance until now.  Because I get a lot of emails asking about the basics of sex addiction recovery I wanted to write about how to create a solid foundation: from sex addiction …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   If you’ve been around sex addiction meetings long enough you’ve no doubt heard people talking about “disclosure.”  While there are many different ways to go through the disclosure process, I thought I’d spend a few minutes discussing what disclosure is all about and why you might consider …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   So what’s the deal with all of the different 12-step groups for sex addiction? There are several different groups based on the original model of Alcoholics Anonymous for those who are dealing with sex addiction or for those who are impacted by their partner’s sexual behavior.  Depending …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Yes, I said it.  Masturbation.  It’s one of those things most of us rarely talk about publically but most of us have done or continue to do privately.  Exploring our sexuality is a normal part of our development, and masturbation is a typical part of this journey. …read more