About Dan Drake

Deny Attack Reverse Victim Offender   Most of us don’t enter relationships thinking about gaslighting or about emotional abuse strategies. Instead, we often enter relationships with hope for what a new relationship can bring. Partners of sex addicts are no exception: They frequently find a partner who is charming, loving, and maybe even doting… at …read more

The Unfulfilling Promise of Sex Addiction and How We Recover   Addictions, chemical or behavioral, alter our mood and our state of consciousness. Our “drug of choice” promises us one (or more) of a number of things: Escape, excitement, numbness, soothing, relaxation, elevation, altered consciousness, happiness, peace, avoidance, possibility, validation, connection, etc. Yet as anyone …read more

How to fall back in love when you’re no longer “in love” by Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, CCPS, CSAT-S   Many couples find our practice after a devastating discovery of their partner’s sexual behaviors. You may have found us because you have betrayal trauma as a result of your partner’s sexual behaviors, or you may …read more

Why Partner’s of Addicts need support too… by Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, CCPS, CSAT-S, Founder & Clinical Director   If you have recently discovered your partner’s secret sexual activities you may have thought or said something very similar to this, “He’s the one with the addiction, so why do I need therapy?”  You may (very …read more

Getting through a Season that’s Lost its Cheer by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Remember when the holidays were a time filled with family, wonderful fragrances, and holiday cheer? In the wake of the discovery of sex addiction, we often hear how triggering special events such as holidays can be. The pictures and …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   The book I co-authored with Wendy Conquest is officially live.  You can find it here on Amazon!  Thanks to everyone who supported us as we were working on this project. We hope it will help addicts, partners, and couples gain better understanding as they work on healing …read more

Partners have been sharing this theme with me for some time, so in the aftermath of the Ashley Madison hack I knew I needed to write about the experience of a betrayed partner who chooses to stay in a relationship after the discovery/disclosure of infidelity.   I was asked to write a guest article for …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation.  The term comes from the movie with the same name, and it is a strategy where one individual manipulates of the reality of another.  These patterns can range from subtle to extreme, but the impact often leaves the one who …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   The organization Treasures does a lot of great work to help women who would like to get out of the sex industry.  They created a video to address the issues of sex and the sex industry, and I was fortunate to have been interviewed in the video. …read more

by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S   For anyone reading this who is a sex addict or who is in relationship with someone who is addicted, you know that lying is a big part of the addiction: It helps to hide behaviors, get partners off the trail, and I usually find that the first …read more