As with many repeating patterns, domestic violence has a cyclical nature that follows 3 stages. Knowing these stages is helpful to identify these abusive patterns in a relationship. There are 3 stages that we will look at: tension building, explosion, and the honeymoon.   The Tension Building Stage In this phase of the domestic violence …read more

In light of October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I interviewed a therapist who specializes in working with victims of domestic violence as well as court mandated perpetrators of domestic violence. Her name is Brianne Baker and she is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Santa Clara County, California. She has been …read more

Myths vs. Reality When I think of domestic violence (DV), I often think of physical violence between one member of a couple to the other.  In fact, domestic violence (often referred to as Intimate Partner Violence) could involve physical violence, sexual violence, stalking or psychological aggression.  Similarly, DomesticViolence.org onsiders DV to include any behaviors that one …read more

Deny Attack Reverse Victim Offender   Most of us don’t enter relationships thinking about gaslighting or about emotional abuse strategies. Instead, we often enter relationships with hope for what a new relationship can bring. Partners of sex addicts are no exception: They frequently find a partner who is charming, loving, and maybe even doting… at …read more

A partner’s choice to stay in a relationship with a sex addict is difficult and usually very scary. Choosing to stay in the relationship is a risk for partners. If you are an addict, doing everything you can towards recovery and struggling to understand why your partner is still afraid, it may help you build …read more

Mindfulness is a term that has gained popularity in recent years. We hear it frequently in the media around wellness, in advertisements for new-age businesses, in self-help literature, and in places like yoga studios and spas. It is now deemed to be a staple of healthy living, much like superfoods, cleanses, shakra alignments, and oxygen …read more

A Guide for Partners   If you recently discovered your partner’s sex addiction, you are probably experiencing a myriad of emotions that you have to negotiate while, somehow, keeping up with your daily responsibilities.  To add to that difficulty, if you and your partner have children together, you also have to figure out how to …read more

Clients will often come into the office carrying concerns about abstinence. Sex, porn, and love addictions are process addictions. Unlike chemical addictions, we cannot live our lives completely devoid of intimacy and sexuality. I have often encountered people who admit that they have a problem but are reluctant to enter treatment, because they believe that …read more

Understanding the Intake Process and Getting Started with Therapy by Cira Winarto, MA, AMFT   If you are reading this, that means you have found our practice and that you are interested in starting therapy. I am glad you found us, and I also understand that it is a challenging time for you right now. …read more

by Julia Alperovich, MS, LMFT, CSAT-C   So…you’re in recovery. You have agreed to do “whatever it takes” to salvage your relationship. You started seeing a therapist regularly, disclosed or admitted to the behaviors your partner was afraid of finding out, and have been diligent about attending meetings, finding a sponsor, and working the steps. You …read more